Happy Easter!

I just got done saving lives for the past two nights, 

So I'm celebrating Easter by going to bed.

Happy Easter!

Enjoy the eggs,

And the peeps!

Zombie Friday: The Last Supper... Braaains..

Zombie Friday:

When Amazon emails you an ad for your own book and suggests you might be interested in buying it... priceless.

The Phoenix Project

$2.99 on Amazon!

One Writer's Dilemma: I'm sorry I killed you in my book...

So, you're writing this really great story, 

at least, you think it's great.

And it's magnificent and sparkly

You even put a unicorn in there to swoon the female readers.

And then you realize.... 

Someone has to die.

 or, be dead.

And usually you research names, you think and sort and trial what might be good. 

But this time, you just pluck a perfectly good, normal name out of the back of your head.

 

You write the character, and immediately kill them

Gravestone.

Ground.

Night-night.

And you go on with your story. Never thinking much about that poor dead character.

And you publish your book, your friends and family and co-workers read it. 

And all is good.

Then, one day you wake up to a message that says: 

"You killed Jim Waters?!"

(see below)

Things were a little awkward, mostly because I felt like an ass.

 

 

Now, Jim's a pretty cool guy, 

he can solder and shit, 

keep that in mind for when the apocalypse hits,

and you need something soldered.

I'm sorry I killed you Jim.

Maybe I can redeem myself and bring you back from the dead in another book...

Zombie Friday

Why wait for a real Zombie bite...

Source: google.com via Meredith on Pinterest

The locals getting a little excited

Oswego area is setting for local author's first sci-fi novel

 

 

The Secret Formula for a Bestseller

I think I see that some authors have found a new formula for creating Bestsellers. 

And I am about to let you all in on the secret...

(drum roll please)

Unicorns

 

Yes, unicorns. 

Now you may have read some Bestsellers lately and thought to yourself: 

I never saw a unicorn in there.
I would know if I saw a mythical beast in a book...

Let's review the formula for these New Adult/Young Adult Contemporary Bestsellers (no, I'm not going to name names, or titles, because that's mean and douchy):  

 

Hunkybroodingbadboymanchild + Shakespearean dialog + super in touch with emotions =  Protagonist's love interest

 

*Ka-Blam*
Bestseller!

That my friends is a fucking unicorn

 

And here's a newsflash: 
there is no brooding football player/bad-boy/vampire/werewolf that will fulfill this formula

these young men don't exist

anywhere

not even in the mountains of North Korea.

 (go to that link and read, it will enrich your life)

 

Don't get me wrong. When I completed these books my initial reaction was that I really liked them. I even re-read some parts. It's when I sat back for a few weeks and thought about them and what makes them so successful and great and awesome, that I figured this out.

Now, I have to retreat to my usual science fiction. 

Reading these chick-flick novels is turning my insides all soft and gooshey.