The Secret Formula for a Bestseller

I think I see that some authors have found a new formula for creating Bestsellers. 

And I am about to let you all in on the secret...

(drum roll please)

Unicorns

 

Yes, unicorns. 

Now you may have read some Bestsellers lately and thought to yourself: 

I never saw a unicorn in there.
I would know if I saw a mythical beast in a book...

Let's review the formula for these New Adult/Young Adult Contemporary Bestsellers (no, I'm not going to name names, or titles, because that's mean and douchy):  

 

Hunkybroodingbadboymanchild + Shakespearean dialog + super in touch with emotions =  Protagonist's love interest

 

*Ka-Blam*
Bestseller!

That my friends is a fucking unicorn

 

And here's a newsflash: 
there is no brooding football player/bad-boy/vampire/werewolf that will fulfill this formula

these young men don't exist

anywhere

not even in the mountains of North Korea.

 (go to that link and read, it will enrich your life)

 

Don't get me wrong. When I completed these books my initial reaction was that I really liked them. I even re-read some parts. It's when I sat back for a few weeks and thought about them and what makes them so successful and great and awesome, that I figured this out.

Now, I have to retreat to my usual science fiction. 

Reading these chick-flick novels is turning my insides all soft and gooshey.