Friday, April 26, 2013

Choosing your mode of transportation for the Zombie Apocalypse!

Zombie Friday:
 
Need a sweet ride to drive off into the sunset when the shit... err.. zombies hit the streets?

What will you be driving?

Now you can't rush into this. You can't just drive off into the sunset in your Grandma's caddie because you've always thought is was a sweet ride. There are some important questions you need to ask yourself. Like what's the smartest choice?
  • the most economical
  • the strongest
  • the best off-road capabilities
  • can you sleep in it
  • is there enough space for weapons and rations and water
  • is there enough space to pick up real-live humans along the way

See! Choosing a Zombie Apocalypse vehicle is not easy!

So lets take a look at some options!

Two-wheels:





Want to channel Darrel with a sweet-ass bike. It's loud as f--k but you'll look pretty bad-ass on it.





Hope the Zombies don't run towards the sound of this shit backfiring...







Four-wheels:



Looking for a sedan? or a sports-car?
 Hyundai has got you covered. 
Although, I don't think the add-ons will assist with gas mileage...








Afraid of running out of gas? 






Shit-you-can-live-in:

 

Looking for something a little larger. 
A space you can call your own? 
Afraid of using public restrooms?
No better choice than the RV! 

Best part: You can eat a ham sandwich on the toilet while your wife drives!






 You don't give a damn about gas-mileage:
 


 Then take the SUV

Nothing says 'Yippee Ki-yay Mother F------r' better than a huge ass SUV, loaded down with 2 tons of guns and bullets, burning up the last bits of the ozone.






Miscellaneous:
 


 I have no idea category what this piece would fall under... But it is amazing.






 
The mother of all Zombie Apocalypse vehicles will always be the tank. Hands down. 
Nothing makes a person shit their pants faster than when they see a huge-ass tank rambling towards them. Even Zombies will run the other way when they see a tank coming. Well, maybe...






My choice:




I'm a Jeep girl at heart. 
Yeah, I know it has it's pitfalls and maybe it won't help me survive, but I love my Jeep. 
(No I don't own this one)









6 comments:

  1. Wicked review, you're a good writer... kept me entertained the whole time I read it. I like how it wasn't too long, and the paragraphs were short and funny. Plus, you can never fail on the topic of zombies with me :)

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  2. good piece of writing.

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  3. You'd be surprised at the efficiency of a simple pedal-bike. It lacks protection, but it's essetially like a quieter, faster version of running on foot, and is great in urban, or even suburban areas. If you're going cross-country, however, then refer to the selections above.

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    1. I was totally going to mention a pedal-bike!!

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  4. The tank will do nicely for me, thank you.

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