Friday, April 26, 2013

Choosing your mode of transportation for the Zombie Apocalypse!

Zombie Friday:
Need a sweet ride to drive off into the sunset when the shit... err.. zombies hit the streets?

What will you be driving?

Now you can't rush into this. You can't just drive off into the sunset in your Grandma's caddie because you've always thought is was a sweet ride. There are some important questions you need to ask yourself. Like what's the smartest choice?
  • the most economical
  • the strongest
  • the best off-road capabilities
  • can you sleep in it
  • is there enough space for weapons and rations and water
  • is there enough space to pick up real-live humans along the way

See! Choosing a Zombie Apocalypse vehicle is not easy!

So lets take a look at some options!


Want to channel Darrel with a sweet-ass bike. It's loud as f--k but you'll look pretty bad-ass on it.

Hope the Zombies don't run towards the sound of this shit backfiring...


Looking for a sedan? or a sports-car?
 Hyundai has got you covered. 
Although, I don't think the add-ons will assist with gas mileage...

Afraid of running out of gas? 



Looking for something a little larger. 
A space you can call your own? 
Afraid of using public restrooms?
No better choice than the RV! 

Best part: You can eat a ham sandwich on the toilet while your wife drives!

 You don't give a damn about gas-mileage:

 Then take the SUV

Nothing says 'Yippee Ki-yay Mother F------r' better than a huge ass SUV, loaded down with 2 tons of guns and bullets, burning up the last bits of the ozone.


 I have no idea category what this piece would fall under... But it is amazing.

The mother of all Zombie Apocalypse vehicles will always be the tank. Hands down. 
Nothing makes a person shit their pants faster than when they see a huge-ass tank rambling towards them. Even Zombies will run the other way when they see a tank coming. Well, maybe...

My choice:

I'm a Jeep girl at heart. 
Yeah, I know it has it's pitfalls and maybe it won't help me survive, but I love my Jeep. 
(No I don't own this one)

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Looking for Inspiration? Try the Seahorse!

Don't feel like writing a unicorn into your work-in-progress? How about a Seahorse, specifically, the male Seahorse.

And so you ask, "Why the F--- would I write about a Seahorse?"

Easy. Courtship. It's all about courtship when it comes to the ladies.

Listen and learn, children:

Seahorses partake in a courtship that spans many days. Not just a single night out on the town.

During this time they dance, which can last about 8 hours. This is romance at its best. No better way to swoon the ladies than with an 8 hour long dance.

And then the male displays his "emptiness" for the female to deposit her eggs... I'm at a loss as to how awesome that is.

And when this courtship is complete, she swims away leaving the male all fat and pregnant. Truly amazing to see how the male and female roles differ between species.

Ok, now watch the video!

Sunday, April 21, 2013

The Phoenix Project Update

I've been getting a lot of great feedback on my first book 
and I would like to shout out and say:

"Thank You!!"

Everyone keeps asking when the next book is coming out so here's my plan:

An Angel from Heaven offered to freelance edit my books!!

(Which is great because I'd have to work a lot of overtime to hire an editor, and then I wouldn't have the time left to write)

So all you haters who be hating, don't worry I got it covered

A second edition of The Phoenix Project will be released in June 
as well as an update for the Kindle eBook

What else is coming in June?

Book 2!

So mark your calendars because there will be giveaways and prizes coming :)

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

You might live in a real-life Dystopia if:

-You suspect there are moles among you at work waiting to turn you in for almost anything
-Your leaders/governors/etc are making laws that infringe on our rights and the people around you are too scared/stupid to do anything about it
-There are murmurings of rebellion
-You find it hard to trust people 
-Smart people are on a decline
-Weapons are outlawed
-Criminals seem to always have weapons
-While there are people in your country starving, the ruling class seems to have an abundance of food/supplies/money
-You have minimal control over your own health/money/personhood
-Propoganda is the main form of news
-The main form of entertainment is propaganda
-You send your children to a school that is nothing like the school you remember as a child
-You worry about your child's future
-Your climate seems to be changing at an amazing pace
-Your food is 95% Genetically engineered
-You speculate the water has been tampered with
-Children no longer play on the streets/parks/outdoors
-Common holidays are no longer celebrated/advertised
-You watch what you say for fear of reprimand
-Everyone speaks in whispers 
-Your word processor doesn't identify "Dystopia" as a real word 
-A total social collapse is welcomed by the majority of the population (Zombie Apacalypse) 

"Dystopias are often characterized by dehumanization, totalitarian governments, environmental disaster, or other characteristics associated with a cataclysmic decline in society. Elements of dystopias may vary from environmental to political and social issues. Dystopian societies have culminated in a broad series of sub-genres of fiction and are often used to raise real-world issues regarding society, environment, politics, religion, psychology, spirituality, or technology that may become present in the future. For this reason, dystopias have taken the form of a multitude of speculations, such as pollution, poverty, societal collapse, political repression, or totalitarianism." (Thank you Wikipedia)

Why is Dystopian fiction not dead?

Because we live in a Dystopian society.

Did I miss anything? Comment below.

(Image Sources: via Nathaniel on Pinterest; via Kate on Pinterest)

Friday, April 12, 2013

Let's remember the Zombies of the 80's

Zombie Friday: 


Zombies of the 21st Century : Slow-as-Shit

Zombies of the 80's : Can dance better than most real-live humans

Don't believe me?

Relive your childhood...