Monday, March 18, 2013

The Secret Formula for a Bestseller


I think I see that some authors have found a new formula for creating Bestsellers. 

And I am about to let you all in on the secret...

(drum roll please)

Unicorns


 

Yes, unicorns. 


Now you may have read some Bestsellers lately and thought to yourself: 

I never saw a unicorn in there.
I would know if I saw a mythical beast in a book...





Let's review the formula for these New Adult/Young Adult Contemporary Bestsellers (no, I'm not going to name names, or titles, because that's mean and douchy):  




 



Hunkybroodingbadboymanchild + Shakespearean dialog + super in touch with emotions =  Protagonist's love interest
 
*Ka-Blam*
Bestseller!

That my friends is a fucking unicorn




 
And here's a newsflash: 
there is no brooding football player/bad-boy/vampire/werewolf that will fulfill this formula
these young men don't exist

anywhere

not even in the mountains of North Korea.
 (go to that link and read, it will enrich your life)


 

Don't get me wrong. When I completed these books my initial reaction was that I really liked them. I even re-read some parts. It's when I sat back for a few weeks and thought about them and what makes them so successful and great and awesome, that I figured this out.





Now, I have to retreat to my usual science fiction. 


Reading these chick-flick novels is turning my insides all soft and gooshey.




8 comments:

  1. I knew I was missing something from Forever Gate.. I'll have to throw in a Unicorn for book 5.. :D

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  2. So THAT's what my novel is missing. Off to find me a unicorn! :D

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    1. I need to find one too... I hear they like cupcakes.

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  3. I've called my own work 'fantasy kitchen sink'. I guess it wouldn't be all-encompassing unless I had a unicorn, would it.
    Totally not joking, by the way.

    Either way, I just realized how long it's been since I read you're blog! And I was so ashamed I decided to binge-read. So expect your Stat counter to go up by one for a whole heap of your posts, cos I'm going to go back to the beginning and start from there.

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    1. Go ahead, go crazy, throw a sparkly-pasty-rainbow-pooping unicorn in there!

      Thank you for bumping my stat counter to a higher number than yesterday! But I can't believe you went back to the beginning of time to read... some of that early stuff wasn't too great...
      Still, thanks for coming back to visit!

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