How should I plan for childcare during the Zombie Apocalypse?

Welcome to another Zombie Friday!

First, the countdown: TWD 2 days! Hell Yes!

 Question of the week:

How should I plan for childcare during the Zombie Apocalypse?

Answer:

You Don't!!

If When the Zombie Apocalypse hits you don't let those wee-babies out of your sight!

I'm serious!

 

You don't leave them with Grandma, 

or with this stranger who doesn't give a crap,

or tell them to stay in the house. 

(Dear God don't ever leave them in the house alone)

Why?

Because kids don't listen and bad shit always happens.

(I can say this with confidence, I have a 6yr old.)

 


You know those annoying backpacks with leashes that people use in the mall, 

and we all laugh, 
and point, 
and say things like: 
"I'd never put my kid in one of those."

(yeah, right there, those)

Buy one!

Put it in your Apocalypse-emergency kit

and fill it with ammo.

Why?

You ask.

What's the point?

You ask.

Case in point right there.

 

Because 

there is no phone-a-friend option, when your kid goes missing and there are Zombies roaming about.

Source: aboutzombies.net via Meredith on Pinterest

The Next Big Thing

The Next Big Thing Blog-Hop

I want to thank Louise West for tagging me in this Blog-hop!

If you haven't clicked on her name yet, do it! 

And take a look at her WIP: "The Hungry-Man." 

It's worth it! Now go. And then come back here. 

I don't usually post my stories on my blog, but I guess it's time to take the plunge, so here it goes:

1. What is the working title of your next book?
                  Saratoga

2. Where did the idea come from for the book?
                 I'm an avid gardener and I had this crazy idea about a girl who can grow things really well, and dance, because I used to dance. And I really miss it.

3. What genre does your book fall under?
                Fantasy/SF

4. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
                 The God's want their earth back and Demi is their secret weapon, she just doesn't know it yet.

5. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
                 I'm so torn! I would love to secure representation, but with all that I've been reading lately, I'm leaning towards self-publishing.

6. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
                10 weeks

7. If your book was made into a film, which actors would you cast as your characters?
                Demi: Emma Watson
                Dylan: I need a Matt Grevers look-a-like

8. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
                The Goddess Test
                    mixed with
                Percy Jackson & The Olympians

9. Who or what inspired you to write this book?
                My love for the earth, and ballet, and mythology, and coming of age novels.

10. What else about your book might piqué the reader’s interest?
                   It's rich in Greek Mythology, the Gods are Gods, and by that I mean assholes, just as they should be, just as they've been depicted in mythology. 
                 This is not a rehash or a retelling, it's an original story I made up in my crazy head. 



Tag, you're it:

Madison Dusome
Matt Anderson

7 Line Challenge

7 Line Challenge

Thanks a bunch to Louise West for tagging me for this blog-hop. This is my first and I'm guessing a few people out there will never have seen one before, so, for the uninitiated- here's the deal.

I'm about to post seven lines from page seven of my work in progress... "Saratoga"  Exciting stuff! I will tag seven (hopefully!) other writers who will, in turn, do the same on their blogs. I suggest you click on the links and check them out.

OK- here it is!

Saratoga

Father was there within a few minutes, walking around the tangled mess, scratching his jaw, trying to figure out a way to get me down. He tried ladders, but they just sunk into the tall grass as though it were warm butter. He chopped at it a few times with his garden shears, but it just grew back underneath me. It refused to let me down.

I leaned forward, tears in my eyes. “Maybe I could just climb down?” I ask them.

“No,” Father replies. “Stay where you are, we’ll get you down. I don’t want you to-”

But it was too late. I had leaned too far over the edge, the edge near the cement patio.

Tag! You're it! 

Chris Andrews 

Madison Dusome

Matt Anderson

Paula Harrold

This is your mission:  Go to line 7 on either page 7 or page 77 of your manuscript and do a post with the next 7 lines, then tag 7 people to keep the challenge going! This a short and savvy way to see what others out there in the blogosphere are writing.

Zombie Apocalypse Lawn Care Guide

Welcome to another installment of Zombie Friday!

Questions of the week:
 

Does the thought of your lawn grass reaching epic proportions cause you anxiety?

Are you worried about who will take care of your lawn during the Zombie Apocalypse?

Are you planning on hiring someone to mow the lawn once the Zombies start crawling?

Don't bother! 



Why?

The lawns always manage to get tended to.

(see, right there)

It seems to be a complete mystery as to how this happens. 

It even has Captain Picard all worked up, 

and if the Starship Enterprise can't figure out this conundrum, 

I'm guessing nobody can.

My theory:

It's those friggin' garden gnomes 

trampling the grass


Zombie Gnomes are the worst!

Don't believe me.

 

Did you ever wonder why we never see any pink flamingos after the Zombie Apocalypse hits?

 



 
Zombie Gnomes, not even the fairy tale creatures are safe.

Source: tips.by via Meredith on Pinterest

Because today I'm just too busy finishing this manuscript.

Choosing your Survival Team Leader for the Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Friday: Survival Team Leader Selection

Now that you've had a few weeks to consider your Zombie killing partner,

it's time to move on,

it's time to find your Survival Team Leader!

And now you're thinking to yourself:
 
"Aw, Shit-sticks, I never realized the dynamics of planning to survive the Zombie Apocalypse! It's so in-depth, there's so many choices!"


That's OK

There's still time. 

So, who will you choose?

 Rick?




 

 

Shane?

 (let's say before he went cray-cray, season 1)



 



 
Daryl?

Truth be told, don't follow me, I'm definitely not the leader type.

Call my name if you're partner is choking on a zombie-apocalypse-squirrel-meatball, 
I'm trained in the Heimlich.
 
Call me if your partner needs CPR, 

or a wound to bandaged...

I'm more of the sarcastic loner type, definitely not leader material.
 And I'm pretty sure the last time I actually performed the task of running was back in 2002. 


 


So if those zombies can travel faster than a rascal scooter

I'm done for :(

The First-Draft Blues. Almost done with that novel? Or so you thought.

One Writer's Dilemma: The First-Draft Blues.

You know that point you get to when you're writing this great story, 

and you know what's going to happen next, 

you can see the ending, 

you can feel it 

and you want to hurryupandwriteit!

So you scramble, write it all down, 

you drink like 8 cups of coffee and 

write as fast as your little fingertips can manage, until they have blisters!

and then your done!

Right! Right! Yay!

Except your word count is too short.

and you forgot about that one really important scene

and you forgot about Bob, he hasn't been seen in four chapters

and on 

and on

and on

 

But you don't care, because your first draft is done!

Victory is yours!!

And you have a growing list of other novels you really want to get started on.

So you have your proof-reader take a look,

Maybe it's your spouse or your best friend.

And you pace around their back while they read, and you stare at their face and try to figure out what they're thinking. 

And they say: 

"What happened to Bob? Did he die or something?" 

or 

"Wasn't there some really important relic you were chasing around? Where did it go?" 

or 

"I thought you were going to put some sex-ing in this, I'm left feeling so... tense."

What you really wanted them to say was: "This is Amaze-balls!"

 

But instead they're like:

Enter sadness and the First-Draft Blues.

What do you do?

Hang on!

I go back to the beginning and start editing. Just knowing that the novel is almost complete is enough to settle the rising excitement/anxiety/panic/relief feelings. 

And this is the stage I'm at now. 

Which explains how that entire bottle of wine got drank last night. 

And now my liver is crying.