Wednesday, November 28, 2012

One Writer's Dilemma: I should be happy I just finished my second novel, right?

I just finished my second novel!
(Actually, I just sent it out to my beta-readers.)

So, what should I do now?

Leap for joy
Jump in glee
Dance in splendor

Jesus, no!

I'm going to give myself a peripheral IV so I can bypass my stomach and give the rum a direct route to my vascular system. 

Why? You ask.

Because that way I can numb all the feelings that come with finishing a novel. 

Which include:
  1. feeling awesome
  2. feeling like you suck
  3. feeling like the story you just wrote sucks
  4. feeling like your protagonist is a shallow dumb ass
  5. feeling like your love interest is a total douche, but hot, so that's borderline OK
  6. feeling like you accomplished yet another thing you've always wanted to
  7. feeling like you want to tell your family and friends but none of them know that you write stories in your spare time
  8. feeling like you are going to have a ton more editing to do once the beta-reader responses start coming in 
  9. feeling like you write like a nine year old

I'm still going to give myself a peripheral IV so I can bypass my stomach and give the Double-Shot of rum a direct route to my vascular system.

But Why? You continue to ask.

Because the freaking Apocalypse is coming in T-23 days!

Which means no one will ever get to read the things I wrote. 

Even if they are awesome and only contain borderline suck-ness...


That also means I need to start stocking up on bullets and canned food, 



or backup batteries for my laptop, or pen and paper. Because how can I continue writing when there is no power for my laptop?!

And how can I query agents and editors if the Apocalypse is on it's way?

I mean, their email in boxes are filled with like 200-2,000,000 emails a day.

(I mean, I get like 7 emails a day: 3 from Toys R Us, 2 from Disney, and 2 from my favorite fish store)

They will never get to send me another rejection notice! 

Good thing I found this instructional piece on how to make your own bound books!

This brings a whole new meaning to self-publishing.

I hope you all can read my handwriting, and still have your eyesight, and have time to read between fighting off the zombies...

Source: via Jessica on Pinterest


  1. Admittedly, I keep wondering with mine if my male protagonist is coming across as a bit of a womanizer.

    At least in the first ten chapters.

  2. Eh, sometimes a little womanizer is what a story needs...

  3. Okay, now I want to make my own book and cover - Just because I can!

    1. Just think, since you can write to straight on unlined paper, you could hand-write an entire book!